in da club
Here I am in the club that I never wanted to join (the initiation sucked btw {by the way} looking around this room I’m guessing no one here wanted to join either. I guess you could call it a fight club, although I have looked everywhere for Brad Pitt . . . We are all fighting nevertheless.
I was a little worried this morning about my blood draw because last week my red and white blood counts were low and they won’t give you the chemo if they drop too low. I arrived at 8:15 waited, blood drawn, waited, seated in infusion room, and then waited until labs came back. Blood work was good and so here I am. Nurses had a hard time getting the IV in [took 4 people trying and then decided to go for the hand] so if you see me soon, you might think this club has a sick hazing ritual or that I am a drug addict (but I gotta say if I were to do drugs, these would not be my drugs of choice) so anyhow it’s 4:00 and I have at least another hour hour 1/2 or so, my bags are full (and I am not just talking about the ones under my eyes) I am tired but happy that this is it. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t dreading the next 3 or so weeks ahead and what the cumulative chemo will bring me. Knowing it’s the end does help, knowing you all think I am so strong helps for sure, even when I have never felt weaker. Thank you again for going along on this journey. Having you by my side whether near or far, hugs and/or kisses, texts and calls, FaceTime, FB, cards, oh so many cards wow! Plants, flowers, messenger, veggies, bags of goodies, insta, these things have all made me feel your love and helped me through the tough days. You can be sure when it comes to inviting new members to this not so exclusive club, I will be the first to blackball all of you. F this club! Let’s join a fun one! Who’s in?
it's hot, it's cold, it's hot, it's cold [or was that just me?] . . . I was kicking things on and off all day. [This was taken toward the end of 8 and half hours, a bit harder to smile]